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splenda

Ok so one day I might want to remember one of the best weekends eva, so crapping on begins now

m arrives at doon about 4ish for a taxi ride pickup at 4:20pm I’m pleasantly surprised…it appears as though she is early!!! So I think this is unbelievable….m never being one to disappoint tho decides that it will be a good idea to cook and eat fetta/tuna pasta before the taxi comes. Ie 20 minutes to cook and eat pasta. She begins the task by putting dry pasta in a saucepan on high heat. 1 minute later there is black pasta in the bottom of the saucepan and smoke all over the house…. m is completely amazed that pasta actually burns and turns black. This doesn’t deter determined m, she washes the saucepan and re-commences…. She packages the cooked pasta in a takeaway container as the taxi driver waits in the driveway and we finally make our way to the airport. On the way we stop on the side of the road and check the boot cos I fear I may have forgotten splenda tickets. Its ok they are there.

So we get fly to coolangatta indirect Adelaide to Melbourne, Melbourne to coolangatta. The leg to Melbourne is terrible it seems the pilot doesn’t want to pick an altitude and stick with it. Not a bumpy ride but full of unnoticeable movements that cause your head to spin. When we land I run to the toilet dry reaching. Then leg to coolangatta we notice that the virgin crew on this flight are quite possibly the ugliest group of attendants ive ever by seen grouped together on a virgin flight. The male looks like jesus from big lebowski and during his demonstration of how to do up your seat belt etc he is telling m to take off her headphones….m was taking a crash course in splenda using d's ipod and when he looks away she puts them on again…he catches her again. We were like a group of naughty school girls.

So we get there and we get picked up in a tarago by e's brother…I know I say it a lot but how good is e? Not really sure how we would have gotten from coolangatta to byron without e as shuttles had finished. Anyway we arrive at the hostel and we get a room that smells like piss all to ourselves. The guy at the desk tells us that we will be joined by 3 males the following 2 nights so we begin to imagine how disgusting these males will be…. d mentions things like farting, snoring and smelling and I figure if we believe this then our expectation will be low and we can only be pleasantly surprised.

We go out on the town Friday night but byron looks more like schoolies and we go home and get a good nights rest in our piss odoured room. We get up and have breakfast in byron big breakfast, omelette and fruit platter lotsa dudes around and 40 minute wait for our food. Consequently we get to splenda late and miss half of the futureheads set. Get drunk and then look for things, everyone we ask thinks we are cops….there really isn’t much you can say in this situation to make them not think you are cops. A girl sells us things, then we find shane. Shane is a bogan who likes Belle and Sebastian but would never tell his friends that cos they would think hes a poof. we convince him to sell us some…he thinks we are cops but he concedes to our pleases and takes us to his campsite to get the things. At the campsite there is a guy virtually out cold in the back of the panny.
Off to mercury rev. as shihad finish we push into the crowd to be in front row for mercury rev. In attempt to get the whole crowd to leave and make room for us we start shouting a conversation like this at each other

D: how shit are mercury rev? (progressing toward centre stage position)
T: oh mercury rev are so shit
M: I know mercury rev are absolutely crap
T: what’s with this acoustic music bullshit…mercury rev are so slow (progressing toward centre stage position)
D: I know and they don’t even have drums!!!!
T: crap
M: yeh crap

After a lot of this we got to about 4-5 people back and witnessed a great show…we were in love…with mercury rev, except m who appeared to be in love with anything in sight. Don’t really know what else happened that night, I vaguely recall seeing cut copy in the doof doof tent.

On the Sunday we woke up and it appeared the stinky snory farty boys had arrived after we went to sleep and left before we woke up. nise. So we were prepared the second day and got there in time for the 4 hour onslaught – doves, bloc party, Interpol and Tim and Niel finn. We emptied our bladders and headed in. People stank and shouted strange abuse. One guy wearing a granddaddy cap unselectively told anyone who walked on stage to take their tops off, even the roadies. Another girl was yelling at the sound checkers to get off the fucking stage and who the hell did they think they were. Anyway bloc party were the best in this lot…and the singer looked strangely like this guy I once saw at supermild.

Indeed what goes up must come down….and I spent part of my Sunday night sitting in the emergency ward at the byron bay hospital…..it seems that following my wicked weekend in spelda I’ve come down with a terrible bout of what might be pleurisy. But it’s ok this is completely normal cos apparently leo’s are prone to pleurisy …
http://www.skyscript.co.uk/leo.html (illnesses)