What is the deal with the bog clock?

'mine comes everyday at 5pm'
'oh i haven't done one since friday'
'when i go on holidays, i just cant seem to do it'
'I’m on a 32 hour cycle’

When I first heard statements like these, a weirdo alarm immediately went off in my head.

You see when my brain acquires a useless piece of information it immediately discards it, making room for information that is necessary. It's a mechanism i picked up by being a member of a population who undergo evolution.

Personally if I didn’t shit for a week I just would not notice, similarly if I shat at 1:43 pm everyday, like I said, I just wouldn’t know. Yet you all seem to commit this useless piece of information to long term memory, which leads me to the question WHY? i figured the only way to find out was to participate so the other day I decided to start a bog clock except I forgot again, but i'm pleased to announce, i just did one then and i remembered and i noted the time too (you people are sick by the way)…so I’m writing it down, yes that's right i have a note book next to my computer that says 'BOG CLOCK, sun 8/1 - 11:45am'. So now I’m wondering when my next one will come cos the suspense is just killing me.

Sunday, February 01, 2004

best gigs i've seen update
1. mercury rev @ livid
2. flaming lips @ BDO
3. ben lee @ heaven
4. pavement @ heaven
5. dandy warhols @ sala bikini
6. stereolab @ prince of wales

so this is a list of gigs i compiled a little while ago, sun feb 01 2004, as you can see, it has been used rather maliciously against me in recent times but that is not the point of this post, the point is to slot the shins from falls in somewhere and to re-list. You see at the time i write this post i quite possibly believed that ben lee's gig was better than the pavement gig (maybe i was just taken by complete surprise) but now looking back there is no way. so let's see how the gigs stand the test of time too.

best i've seen update
1. mercury rev @ livid
2. the flaming lips @ BDO
3. pavement @ heaven
4. the shins @ falls
5. stereolab @ prince of wales
6. ben lee @ heaven
7. the dandy warhols @ sala bikini

i must say there is only a smidge between those sitting between 3 and 7 yet 1 and 2 were in a class of their own. so maybe i will repprt again in another 2 years but i will make one prediction and that is that no band @ fowlers would ever slot in this list....burn that fucking place cos it sounds like a fart!!

i have another thing to say

today i was humming along to the radio and one of my work colleagues...lah dee dah, see i'm a scientist now, a hem, a medical scientist and i can say words like colleague you see, anyway he says to me (by the way this colleague is actually a top guy and yet the conversation im about to recount could possibly make him sound like a tosser or possibly me hard to tell at this point) anyway he says to me 'ooh now this is way before your time young lady' (he's old very old he has white hair and stuff) and i reply 'well no i love the beatles, best band ever' and he says 'well i must say i like their rubber soul album' to which i reply 'jolly good , but i trully enjoy the white album' and then he ponders 'oh yes i remember the double white album, their last album'

WHAT?? FOOK OFF NO WAY WHO THE HELL GETS IT THAT WRONG? i think in my head (sorry im talkin about the beatles so i have to say 'fook')

'no the white album was not their last album'...
'missy i have a few years on you, the white album is definitely their last'
's*, come on!' i reply
'i think you'll find i am correct'
's* i strongly oppose!!!'
he then smiles at me with an i'm right look and walks out...

NOW COME ON!!!! you just cant do that...i wanted to just scream at him and say "LOOK YOU'RE JUST FOOOKING WRONG OKAY"...oh it's frustrating, i have to walk out of the room everytime the beatles come on the radio now cos i know i'll say something ghey.

i have another thing to say..
tonight the word 'entendre' was used in a sentence...now this is a word i have never heard before, such a nice sounding word and so this week i am determined to make it mine at an appropriate point in time. In fact here stems my new years resolution and that is to expand my very limited vocabulary, raised in a hybrid italiano-englese environment, it was never easy sounding intelligent. 'Tan-i-a fa coffee', which means, tanya make coffee, 'fa' short for 'fare' which means make in italian, it also doubles as a joke, possibly a double entendre. perhaps. i need to look that up. Anyway im going to learn a new word every week and then use it in a fitting sentence.

today i have just 2 words to say
'bruce' and 'yes!'
'and' is merely a joiner

...some mems...

hottie taking a leak

three little hotties in a row
group of hotties hug
hottie in a hat

Tuesday, December 20, 2005
falls
girl and the sea by the presets is suuuuuch a good song, i only thought of that cos it just randomly came on. so last night i cut hair for the first time and *newsflash* i am a hairdresser cos pb looks like a fucking rockstar and just in time for the falls too. speaking of falls i bought a tent the other day and well you basically push a button and vwella...so good. also got some goodies the other night for everybody and when i got to the car i hid them in my bra cos i had this vision of an unmarked cop car flagging me down and a copper saying 'step outside of the car miss' but evidentally the adelaide pd have nothing on 21 jump street because i got home without being intercepted phew, mind you home was about 400 meters away, i guess it ain't mission impossible either, hopefully when we reach the gates of falls it wont be a case of who let the dogs out? cos we might have to jailhouse rock instead...ok thats enough, looks like we have some plusses and some minuses...i wonder if they cancel each other out?
# posted by tani @ 11:49 PM 0 comments

Saturday, December 17, 2005
hate
ive decided to compile a list of things i randomly hate...it's hard to think of things off the top of my head but i'm well aware when i encounter them ...so i'll just keep adding as time goes on1. cane2. the word 'art'
# posted by tani @ 2:08 AM 0 comments

Friday, December 16, 2005
guiness book of records
hmm it just occurred to me how strange the guinness book of records is, here's the dude with the biggest toe in the whole world... so what? that's gross.anyway my train of thought was this; i walked into the dining room this morning and the spider was out and about, you see we have a house spider at the moment, a great big huntsman and we've decided to keep him cos we have a lot of little moths in our house that need to be shown their place. This morning I noticed that he has grown quite significantly in the month or so that we've had him and thought maybe we can force feed him moths and he will become the biggest house spider in the world.So this spider is fun though cos you can play tricks on jon where all you have to do is look at his big head of hair assif you just saw a spider and he'll scream like a girl everytime AND i'm going to do it so much that he'll just go 'yeh yeh' and one day it will be true. I've been waiting my whole life to put him in this no win situation.
# posted by tani @ 4:08 PM 1 comments

blogger crush
oh my god i so have the biggest blogger crush ever...anyway in other news i was walking to the taxi stand and came across a bunch of drunken yobs wearing the number 72 on their back singing their arses off and guess what song they were singing? no it wasn't 'working class man' by jimmy or 'daughter' by pearl jam, it was 'dr worm'. yelling at the top of their lungsBUT I AM A RE-AL WORM ; I AM AN ACT-U-AL WORMhaha gotta love life for it's little quirks sometimes
# posted by tani @ 5:32 AM 0 comments

Thursday, December 15, 2005
woohoo
well i've been known to speak too soon but i really like my new job so far...the lab next door has like about 20 people my age...party. Also it's like a thousand times better in the interest department....and i can wear whatever the fuck i want, So good, i just gotta get it so that i can have an hour for lunch and not 30 minutes, that sucks...i dont want to spend lunches in the canteen. Also today the people in my lab got sent virgin band puzzle thing, basically a picture full of cryptic clues of bands, i got called on for my expertise ...it was funny when they had guessed things like 'the angels' and 't rex' and i was like nah i think it's 'the pixies' and 'dinosaur jr'...unheard of.
# posted by tani @ 3:28 AM 0 comments

Monday, December 12, 2005
unbelievable
i just watched feeds from the news, i read it but i had to keep reading it cos i just couldn't fucking believe it, and so then i watched it and then i wondered why i did that...i just cant explain fucking disgusted i feel. i've been to that fucking place. gross...how do people go through 20 odd years of life without developing a single brain cell? HOW?
# posted by tani @ 4:05 AM 0 comments

Sunday, December 11, 2005
what do you do?
i had my first day at work today, i dont really have much else to say, it was ok....i guess the hardest part was going to lunch in the canteen and deciding where to sit when i didn't know anyone and all the tables had people on them....and when i sit am i supposed to talk to my neighbour or read the magazines that are dispersed on the table? i decided to read the magazine and then saw that image of tom cruise standing on oprah's couch. laugh and spew at the same time. apart from that it was pretty easy, just filling in a bunch of forms and stuff. Oh and they introduced me to everybody as 'the new medical scientist' lah dee dah.So its a bit annoying when you throw a tantrum like the one i threw on saturday night. am i supposed to contact them now after they've apologised sincerily or just pretend it never happened...i dont really deal with the aftermath of confrontation very well. one thing i've noticed is that things seem like a much bigger drama at 5 in the morning with a few drinks under the belt. i still think it was tactless but i'm over it.
# posted by tani @ 11:20 PM 0 comments

a time and a place
Alright this is my new blog cos my old blog, to cut a long story short, is getting well, old. I played a gig with another band last night and it was really fun, there was a lot of heckling which is probably why it was fun. my other band doesn’t get heckled… Anyway it’s amazing how you can go from feeling really good to really fucking shit… at the end of the night I caught a taxi home and a conversation ensued that made me totally lose it… I told the taxi driver to 'get some fucking air in the taxi' (poor taxi driver, he just did it for me and was really polite), I basically threw my $10 into the back seat and slammed the door shut on my way out making no eye contact with those in the back seat, reoow. And well I’m not proud of these knee jerk loss of control tendencies, but unfortunately we are genetically programmed to get jealous and be competitive and feel angry, so I blame my ancestry but fuck the party involved cos they were out of line. There is a saying that goes ‘there is a time and a place’, I believe in it. They could have waited like 3 minutes to have their insensitive and very pointless conversation. I know I act like some sort of femme-bot who has very little going on in the emotion department but *news flash* no-one is actually like that. I got zero sleep last night and I gotta start my new job tomorrow, it’s going to be desmond city but the good news…. I found the best dress ever at mint vintage.